I normally cannot be bothered with those chain e-mail things that go around but once in a while one comes around and makes you chuckle but also makes you think a bit. This one (author unknown) is just such a one. Its a wee bit like when you were a kid and did'nt know why your Dad didn't rule the world because he had the answer to everything and could also fix your bike. I particularly like the pensioner/prisoner swap idea, it has real appeal. So re created here with a nod to the originator Grumpies of the World Unite…
Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing England 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money
on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week …..
and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that
makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy so and so's to reduce
their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their
falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
If not, please disregard.
Grumpies of the World Unite
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment,
wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and
returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling,
pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay
£600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow
epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost
three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to
locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we
should give each of them a cow.
THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution
for Iraq … Why don't we just give them ours?
It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries
and we're not using it anymore.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a
courthouse or Parliament, is this -
You cannot post Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery'
and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and
politicians….. It creates a hostile work environment.
Think about this …. If you don't want to forward this for fear of
offending someone — YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy
old folk of Britain to speak up!
So some pearls of wisdom here for the law makers and law breakers.I woder if Mr Cameron has seen it?